When Death knocks on your door.

Saari, our beloved guardian and companion in animal form, was hospitalized on Friday morning as a routine check revealed three tumors in her body.
One in connection with her spleen, two in her chest.
As the one in her spleen was biggest and at the moment most threathening, the vet advised us to have her operated as quick as possible to have it removed.
So the whole of Friday – after having gotten the news that she had to go to surgery with a tumor we had no idea existed – was spent in a kind of limbo. Waiting. Holding our breath to see on which side the dice was going to land.

It’s at times like these when I remember that there’s always something you can take away from a tragedy. No matter how heart stopping, no matter how horrendous – in my experience – there’s always a lesson to find. And a truly great one if one is able to hear it.
When we are faced with tragedy, it always feels like having the blanket swept from under our feet. And it is also irrevocable. A death, a break-up or a serious illness to name just a few.
It offers a new perspective of life. And is it a chance to revise our way of life. A gift, although a tough one, but only because life has not been able to reach us in its more subtle ways.
And so it was for us.

In the previous year Saari hasn’t gotten the attention she really deserves. With a baby and the life adjustments that comes with that has meant that she’s simply gotten less attention. But not of ill will.

All of this have made me think (and my husband, I know, as well) a lot about what really matters. What is – truly – important to fill my days with?

All I want is to be. To breathe. To love. To live.
With joy. With ease. With purpose.
With the ones I love.

All I want is to fill my days with what brings meaning – and ONLY that.
To no longer compromise or live by anyone else’s standards but my own.
And to do this today and for the rest of my life. However much of eternity that is.

And then, the dice revealed it’s eyes.  <3 We were lucky enough to get to have Saari with us for a little longer. <3

We went to get her at the animal hospital yesterday afternoon and she’s been loved, hugged, scratched all over – today. And will be every day hereafter.

Teachers – I have to add – come in all kinds and forms. <3

Cozying out on the bed today.



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